I am finding my sweet spot. My days are chalked full of learning new things. Of moments to research. To implement what I find. To be challenged. To be valued. I'm loved. I'm respected. I fail and I'm an expert.
Its a place we all long for and a respite my soul so desperately needed. I've waited all week to write about it because I wanted to find words to express and define it. I'm still struggling. But I do know a couple things:
- I feel fulfilled. I feel like my time is validated and that the journey to this place has pulled together everything.
- Money is not what makes the difference. Doing what you love does.
- What makes me full in this moment in this place? being creative, getting to be part of strategy building, using all my gifts, learning new skills, making new connections and building new relationships
And, then as we planned and embarked for week 2, I spent a couple hours on Saturday morning working on my interests - passions - gifts/abilities - experiences. I'm continually amazed when I think about our lives being the sum total of all our journeys. Think about it. Who you are at this moment is a sum total of a lot of different things - failures, mistakes, successes, location moves, job changes, relationship successes and relationship breaks, hobbies tried, and experiences gained.
Spectra ministry. One of the ladies shared a painting she had done to depict the Parable of the Signs. We all walk around looking for a sign, anywhere we can see it:
Inspiration: In this parable the people asked Jesus for a sign
Oh how true that is. We, our lives, are not the summation of one moment, but the places we have been, the experiences we had while we were there, the people we met along the way and the way all of those were woven together.
I know I'm kinda known as a girl who "spews sunshine" and I'm ok with that because for the most part my world is full of overly gracious moments. I don't want this to be too far an extreme in that direction. I've had some really tough days, even in the last month. I've had terrible ugly days over the last 2 years and I'm so mad at myself that I didn't properly document them here or in my private journal. But those ugly moments need these days. A reminder that life is so much more full of good than bad. That fulfillment comes from the little things. That journeys have turns and bends that make them more enjoyable and way more beneficial. That feeling successful by feeling "full" is good. And that "BEing" is an ok place to be!